I just pynch a tree in the face
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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