so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
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