whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I'm sobbing to NWA
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
