You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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