So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
