Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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