I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
How's work?
Spinning.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
