I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize