My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
