I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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