Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
