Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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