Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Randomize
