No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
