scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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