would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
