playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
