I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Randomize
