There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
