someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
