When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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