No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I came so hard my ears popped.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
