i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
