I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
