Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
did you just send me my own nude
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
