Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
