I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Blood and glitter go together right?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
