i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
