South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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