Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
