You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
