Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
