The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
