did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
