Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
