i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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