I hate your face
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize