hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
