The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize