Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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