idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
