I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
