You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
