so that wasnt chicken after all
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
