Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I could make wine with my vomit
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
