It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
