I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
