this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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