she peed on how many people?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
