How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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