I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Dick very happy bro
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
