I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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