We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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