K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Can Purell be used as lube?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
