That's when you crack a 10am beer
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
