Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize