Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
There r osticjed everywhere
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
