I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
