i just google imaged poop.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
