I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
