Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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