I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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