my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
sex in a hospital.. check
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
