We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
