Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I understand Curling. That high.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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