I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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