around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
