i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
